In Memoriam

My dad had quit smoking two years prior and was walking up to five miles a day. He was losing weight, lowering his cholesterol, and regularly taking his prescribed medications. He was sixty-five years old and taking great care of himself. When he started experiencing pain in his hip after his walks, he thought little of it except to take a pain killer and a nap.

On Thursday, May 31, 2007, my dad was diagnosed with lung, liver and bone cancer. He liked to joke that they found nothing in his brain. We were told that his cancer could not be cured but progression could be delayed. He was given two months without treatment, up to two years with treatment. My dad was determined to put up a fight and began treatment right away.

However, treatment seemed to be worse than the disease. My dad was confused, hallucinating, in greater pain and often sleeping from the medications. We all agreed that quality of life was more important than prolonging life. Treatment was stopped.

We then learned that my dad also had cancer in his spine. Two of three doctors concluded he would only live a few more weeks.

My birthday was July 13th. Hula Girl’s birthday was July 20th. My parents’ 40th anniversary was July 31st. The doctors declared that he would not see any of these events.

My dad saw my birthday, Hula Girl’s birthday, and his 40th wedding anniversary. We all wondered if the doctors were wrong about his prognosis. My wife and I had been spending all of our weekends, since the diagnosis, with my parents and even had taken time off from work. The weekend of August 3rd, we considered that we would take the following weekend off from visiting in order to spend some time with each other. We were tired, both physically and emotionally. On the afternoon of Sunday, August 5th, we left Akron to return to Columbus. My dad stepped to the front door to wave goodbye as we pulled out of the driveway, and we waved back.

The next evening, my dad slipped into a coma. Hula Girl and I called off from work Tuesday morning, packed our clothes, and returned to Akron. I would have no more conversations with my dad. We knew the end was near, and my only prayer was that he would not pass on August 11th, my youngest son’s birthday.

My dad passed at 9:48pm on Friday, August 10th, 2007.